


Past Mistakes

by arsonists_oceans



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Team Dynamics, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Howard Stark's Good Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Maria Stark's Good Parenting, Mental Instability, Not Steve Friendly, Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pro-Accords, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Vision (Marvel), Reconciliation, Slow Build, but it won't be a quick fix it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-10 16:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12302655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsonists_oceans/pseuds/arsonists_oceans
Summary: It's been weeks since the Avengers moved back into the tower, and nothing is the same. Everything changes when Tony's parents appear back into his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a story where the team dynamics after the Civil War are horrible but very slowly get better. Relationships aren't fixed overnight, and apologies don't fix things right away. I also wanted to bring Tony's parents back to life so that he can have a second chance at a family.

It’s been only a few days since the old Avengers had moved back into the tower. They were just allowed back into the country if they signed the original Accords. They didn’t know it, all except Vision and Pepper, that it was Tony who revised them. That it was him who got them back into the country. Vision insisted on telling them that, by Tony refused. He didn’t want the Avengers to know he did anything to help them.

 

Most days Tony hates them, hates all of them except Vision of course. Other days he wants them out of the tower, out of his life, out of his sight. Though he knows there's a bigger picture. The Avengers should be together in case another disaster, not made by them, happens. It doesn’t mean Tony has to like it. He hasn’t seen them since they moved back in. He had Pepper put them back into all their rightful places in the tower. They were kept in the very bottom parts of the tower while Tony on the top. Pepper had, unbeknownst to Tony, took every Stark owned thing out of the rooms. They only had a pillow and a mattress. Pepper had also taken all their Stark owned weapons, so they were instead given SHIELD issued weapons.

 

Pepper truly was a force to be reckoned with when she wanted to be. As of now, he was waiting for her to return with their coffee, ever since the Siberia he and Pepper had been like glue to each other. With Pepper realizing she had almost lost Tony and Tony recognizing Pepper and Rhodey were the only two people who truly cared about him. Some days Pepper sits on the couch in the workshop and does her CEO things while Tony works. It’s the closeness Tony needs, and it’s the closeness Pepper provides.

 

Sometimes when it’s late Pepper, with the help of Vision, will drag an exhausted Tony to his bedroom where he and Pep sleep. Tony thought he had mourned his parents; he thought he was over it. Though after watching what actually happened to them it was as if the dam broke. Every night he cries himself to sleep in Peppers lap, thinking about his parents. Thinking about what could have been between them. He hates Steve for not telling him and making him find out the way he had. He wants to hate Barnes for what he did. Though deep-down Tony knows it wasn’t really him. Though it was those hands that took the life of his mom and dad. He isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to separate Barnes form the Winter Soldier.

 

Pepper had rubbed Tony’s shoulder and ran her fingers through his hair. She shushed him and rocked him as if he was a child. He never felt embarrassed with her when times get like that; he felt safe. When those same sobbing and crying moments happened with Rhodey, it was different. Rhodey would let Tony mourn in peace as whatever movie they were watching play. It was Rhodey's presence that made it just a little bit better for Tony.

 

Tony is pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Pepper is on the phone and holding two cups of coffee. Already Tony feels better, Pepper sets the coffee down and hold a finger up at Tony.

 

“Yes, Yes. Understood Mr. Karnak. The meeting is set for tomorrow at noon. Alright, bye.” Pepper said hurriedly. Once she clicked the phone off, she sighed in annoyance.

 

“You have a meeting with Mr. Karnak at noon tomorrow Tony, you cannot be late again,” Pepper said while kissing him on the forehead. Ever since the incident, they were much freer in their causal touches and kisses of each other.

 

Tony took a sip of his coffee and nodded. “Pepper, the light of my life, I won’t be late. Have some faith in me; Dummy hand me that screwdriver.”

 

Pepper fondly rolled her eyes at him; Tony was late for any and everything. Pepper looked at Tony and saw him working on the suits chest piece. Pepper caught on that Steve slamming his shield into Tony’s chest had brought on Tony continually strengthening the chest piece. When Tony had returned home, there had been a deep dent in the armor. Tony’s chest had been so bruised. Molten blacks and purples. It made Pepper sick to even think about it.

 

“Tony, you’ve been working on that armor for days, just- “Pepper began gently but was interrupted.

 

“It has to be better Pepper, I can’t let something like that happen again,” Tony said tightly. Seeing the tension in the air Dummy beeped sadly and moved his claw up and down. Hating to admit it, that damn shield still brought him nightmares. Steve still brought him nightmares. The Steve who said he’d always protect Tony, who said he loved Tony. Who lied to Tony.

 

Tony slammed the screwdriver down and stood; he began pacing as well. “Friday send Rogers up here and that fucking shield.”

 

“Tony?” Pepper asked worriedly. Tony looked to be on the verge of a panic attack, whatever he was about to do wasn’t going to be a good idea. Tony didn’t answer her; he just continued pacing till he heard the elevator ding.

 

When Rogers came in, it took everything in Tony not to run out of the room. He was furious at Rogers, but he was also scared of him, which made him even angrier. Tony couldn’t help but flinch when he saw that shield in his hand.

 

Steve could read all of Tony’s emotions; he could see the hate, fear, and anger in Tony’s eyes. The slight flinch when he laid eyes on the shield. Steve couldn’t help but just stare at Tony. He looked so tired, so exhausted.

 

All Steve wanted to do was to lead Tony to his room and put him to sleep like he used to. How he used to have to carry an exhausted Tony up the stairs. He remembered how Tony would still somehow claim he was awake, but he’d be dead asleep the minute he hit the bed. He missed how he would climb in after. He missed all of it.

 

“Tony, I-“ Steve began.

 

“Give me the shield,” Tony said shortly. He was still anxious as Pepper and Steve could see.

 

Steve looked at him in confusion. The shield? When they moved in, Pepper had all but threw the shield back at him once he got in his room with Bucky. “Tony? Why do you-?”

 

“Just give me the fucking shield!” Tony yelled. Pepper decided it was time to intercede. She walked up to Steve and held both her hands out. Steve could see the worry in her eyes for Tony, so he handed over the shield without any more questions.

 

Once Pepper had moved away Steve stepped forward to Tony who in turn stepped back. “Don’t,” Tony said holding up a hand. Steve felt as if his heart was breaking as he saw the fear and pure rage he saw in Tony’s eyes.

 

“Tony please, we-we need to talk.” Steve pleaded.

 

“Rogers get out.”

 

“Tony-“

 

“LEAVE!” Tony screamed at him; Tony angrily wiped at his eyes when he felt tears in them. Fuck. He hadn’t wanted to cry in front of Steve. Steve backed away towards the door, his own sad expression on his face.

 

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” Steve said. Pepper was guiding Steve out the door quickly. She knew the minute he left she would have to comfort Tony. He was going to need her.

 

“I hate you,” Tony whispered to Steve. Pepper didn’t hear it of course, but Steve picked it up. Once he was out the door and in the elevator, he put at least five dents into the elevator wall with his fists.

 

Once Steve was gone Pepper turned to Tony and saw the clear trails of tears falling down his face. She pulled him into a hug and sat on the couch with him. It's one of those nights again. “Friday play, The Fox and the Hound.” Pepper said.

 

Tony chuckled and gave her a watery smile, “good choice.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for feedback, kudos and comments <3 Love you all.

Steve came back upstairs, Natasha raised an eyebrow up at him when she saw he came back empty-handed.

 

“He wanted it back.”

 

“Did he say why?”

 

Steve shook his head and sat at the kitchen counter. He rubbed his palms against his eyes in an effort to clear his mind. “No. But you should have seen the look on his face. God, I’ve never seen anything like it. He was so… angry and scared.”

 

“He said he hated me, Nat, he said it.” Steve finished quietly.

 

“He probably didn’t mean it. Hate is a strong word, Steve.” Natasha told him, she had moved to sit next to him at the counter.

 

“No. He meant it. I know Tony, he meant what he said. He hates me.” Steve whispered he wasn’t even ashamed of the tears that rolled down his face. That vicious part of him that sometimes tells the truth yelled at him, “you betrayed him. What did you expect.”

 

Steve would always whisper to himself that it wasn’t like that. That it was all a misunderstanding. Steve couldn’t say that it wasn’t because it’d be all on him, he’d have to admit losing Tony was his fault.

 

“So what are you going to do? I know not give up. But tell me so I can tell you if you’re digging yourself your own grave.”

 

Steve chuckled mirthlessly, “there’s nothing to do. He hasn’t seen us since we’ve got here, it’s been weeks. Pepper won’t give us an update and Friday acts as though she can’t hear us when we talk. He’s done with us, Nat. He’s done.”

 

“No, he’s not. Which is a bad and a good thing. His heart is too good to cut us off. He still cares, it’ll just take him some time to come around.” She said casually.

 

Steve looked at her as if she was insane. She wasn’t listening to anything he said. Steve knew Tony, he knew him. Tony was absolutely serious in that lab. Steve stood to leave all the while shaking his head.

 

“That’s the type of arrogance that will never make him trust us.”

 

* * *

 

Bucky stared out of the Tower window, taking in the streets of New York. He wasn’t really watching but instead thinking. His thoughts were never good, though Steve always told him to try and think positive. And Bucky did try, but it never lasted.

 

He couldn’t help but think of the Winter Soldier. Steve and the other Avengers tried to separate the two, say that they were two different people. As if it wasn’t Bucky’s hands that had taken so many lives. He always thought it was a poor excuse to shift guilt onto another entity, someone that was in himself.

 

What he most feels guilt about it is Tony. He doesn’t remember what he’s done as the Winter Soldier; he doesn’t even remember Tony’s parents. But he does remember that video, that terrible video.

 

He remembered seeing Tony’s face just fall apart as he watched. It was, it was disgusting. Disgusting to see so much hurt that he had caused in front of him.

 

When Tony had turned to ask Steve if he knew, Bucky had been surprised when he answered yes. He realized Steve must have found out when he was first looking for him. Bucky didn’t know much, but he could tell there was something between Tony and Steve. Something that had ruptured in that exact moment.

 

Bucky always wanted to ask Steve why he didn’t tell Tony. Why he kept it to himself, though he didn’t want to seem ungrateful. Steve had risked everything for him, though he wondered at what cost. When they were in Wakanda, Steve would carry around a flip phone with him constantly. He constantly checked it as well. It was only later that Steve had told him he gave a replica to Tony, to call him.

 

Bucky didn’t say anything, but for some reason, he knew that wouldn’t happen. Even without knowing Tony he knew by Steve’s actions and emotions he knew he messed up terribly.

 

It was weeks later when Bucky didn’t see Steve carry the phone around anymore. But he did catch metal pieces in the trash can in their room the next morning. It was another month later that they got word they could return to the states, as free citizens.

 

All they had to do was sign a revision in the Accords, which they all had. It was Bucky who actually took the time to read this one since he hadn’t got to read the first. Bucky could still see restrictions and red tape, but the team assured him that it was an improvement.

 

King T’Challa had told them they’d be taken to Stark Tower. It was Clint who had asked if he meant Avengers Tower, but T’Challa corrected him and said it was indeed Stark Tower. Bucky remembered Clint calling Tony arrogant or something of the like. Bucky kept his mouth shut though; he learned to be quiet and observe a long time ago.

 

It was Steve who looked happy at the prospect of going back to the Tower. Bucky knew it probably had something to do with seeing Tony again. He had a gut feeling it wasn’t going to go as Steve expected.

 

And it didn’t.

 

When they arrived, it was a red-headed woman who escorted them around and showed them where they’d be staying. She was short and to the point. When Steve had asked her where Tony was she had flat out told him, he doesn’t want to see any of you.

 

It was Steve who looked devastated, Natasha was neutral, Clint scoffed, and Wanda didn’t seem to care. Pepper left them standing in the middle of the common area when she was done with the tour; Bucky saw her swiftly get back into the elevator and leave.

 

“I guess Starks to good to meet with us.” Clint had said nastily. Bucky didn’t understand why Clint was so angry with Tony.

 

“Do you expect any less?” Wanda had added.

 

Bucky didn’t like to speak to the others, not like he did Steve. He barely put his input out unless needed, which wasn’t often. But he couldn’t stop to ask them all a question.

 

“Why do you talk about him like that? He didn’t have to let us stay here.” Everyone had turned to look at him as if he’d grown a third head, everyone except Steve and Natasha.

 

“It was probably just a publicity stunt, to look good in front of the public eye, nothing more,” Clint said dismissively. Wanda and Natasha had nodded while Steve stayed silent.

 

Bucky didn’t say more he just went to where he remembered Miss. Potts said his room was. Steve was right behind him too.

 

“Why do you let them talk about him like that?” Bucky had asked. He was more comfortable talking and asking questions around Steve.

 

“They're all entitled to their own opinions, I can’t make them change,” Steve said quietly.

 

Bucky swore it slipped out, but sometimes he thinks he said it on purpose. Not to spite Steve but because it was on his mind. Steve had told him to start speaking his mind more.

 

“You got them to follow you against Stark.”

 

He remembered Steve just looking at him as if he couldn’t believe Bucky had said what he said. He didn’t have a response, so he left without another word. Bucky figured because he knows it’s true.

 

Bucky turned around from the window as Steve entered the room. He looked a mess, at least his face did. His face always turned a bright red color when he had been crying. Things with Tony must not have gone as planned. He also didn’t walk back with the SHIELD meaning Tony had taken it. Bucky had a feeling he would.

 

Why else would he want Steve’s shield, Bucky sometimes felt bad Steve, he lived in a fantasy world where he thought everything would go back to normal.

 

“He said he hated me, Buck, flat out said it,” Steve said the minute he flopped on the bed. Bucky slightly tilted his head, he didn’t expect Tony to say he hated Steve, but he expected something of the like.

 

“Oh,” Bucky said, he didn’t know how to comfort Steve. What he wanted to say he couldn’t. Bucky had been clued in by Natasha that Steve and Tony had been in a relationship before all of this.

 

It intensified the feelings Tony must have had at the base. It must have broken Tony that Steve had left him in the cold. Bucky heard the crack in his voice as he told him he didn’t deserve the shield. It was almost as if he was saying, “you don’t deserve me.”

 

“That’s all you have to say?” Steve asked sitting up. Bucky guesses he was supposed to say something else. It was if Steve wanted him to say something “Bucky” like. Like the Bucky, he knew before the ice.

 

“Sorry, why did he say that?” Bucky tried again. He wasn’t good with this, or anything of the sort. He couldn’t even remember being in a relationship with anyone from before. He just didn’t know how to answer Steve.

 

That seemed to work slightly because Steve laid back down. “Because I messed up because I made a bad call. Because I betrayed his trust. He meant what he said Bucky; I’ve lost him.” Steve said sadly.

 

Once again Bucky swore he hadn’t meant to say it, it just came out. He was speaking his mind. “Maybe you deserve it.”

 

The minute he said it he froze and Steve froze.

 

 _Bad. Wasn’t suppose to say that._ Bucky’s mind had supplied.

 

Before Steve could say anything, Bucky was walking out of the room. He didn’t even stay long enough to look at Steve’s face; he didn’t want to. He could hear in the distance Steve calling his name; he still didn’t stop.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony was awoken by Pepper, as always. “You didn’t have a nightmare tonight?” Pepper said asking and telling him at the same time.

 

Tony didn’t; he had a dream. It was of his parents. Specifically the first time he showed his dad his first circuit board.

 

_Little Tony had just finished putting the wires together, his little hands moving quickly so he could show his father before he left for work. Tony knew he was a genius; his dad knew he was a genius, so it was kind of difficult to impress him since he already expects it. He still tries though._

_His mom is always praising him for whatever he does, Tony loves it, but he’d like it even better from his dad. He wasn’t a bad dad; he just wasn’t a very good one. But he tried._

_“Yes!” Tony shouted as the tiny light bulbs on the board lit up. He all but ran to his father's office. He hid the board behind his back and walked into the room. His dad was working away at some bigger project Tony wasn’t quite smart enough to understand yet._

_His dad didn’t look at him when he entered. But Tony didn’t care his dad always focused on his work practically ignoring the people around him._

_“Dad?” Tony asked quietly. He was nervous with anticipation._

_Howard put down the screwdriver and looked over at his young son. He was holding something behind his back and smiling nervously._

_“Yes, Tony?”_

_“Look!” Tony said excitedly; he almost tore the circuit board trying to get Howard to see. Howard picked it up and examined it._

_It was a good circuit board, certainly amazing coming from a five-year-old. Howard saw a few flaws that would increase its longevity if fixed, but it was still a feat._

_Tony was_ _waiting anxiously bouncing from foot to foot as he watched his dad look it over. “A few flaws could be better.”_

_Tony face fell at his dad's words; he had tried to hard on it. Just as he was turning around his dad laid a hand on his shoulder. “I said a few, nothing that’s not fixable. Would you like me to show you?” Howard asked kindly._

_Tony knew hat was praise coming from his dad. He didn’t say he was proud of Tony, but he was. Tony practically skipped and hopped on his dad's lap as he showed him how to fix the errors. Tony had watched intently he would make it perfect next time._

 

“I-I had a dream about Howard,” Tony said quietly. It was strange that it wasn’t a nightmare this time instead. Pepper looked over at him in concern, “was it good?” She asked hopefully. She was waiting for the day Tony wouldn’t have nightmares about his parents.

 

“Yeah, I was showing him my first circuit board, and he liked it. Well, he didn’t say it, but I know he did.” Tony chuckled.

 

“Good I’m glad to see your getting better.” Pepper said kissing him on the forehead.

 

“Boss you might want to go to the roof,” Friday said abruptly.

 

Tony looked at the ceiling confused. “What’s on the roof?”

 

“Thor and Loki boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you're wondering how in the fuck is this going to be Tony/Steve and Tony/Bucky. Don't worry we'll get there. It's a slooooooow burn.

**Author's Note:**

> If there is any type of formatting issues or something of the sort let me know. Liked it? Hated it? Let me know, feedback is always welcomed and helpful


End file.
